Ex-Spectador

Patrícia Scoralick

Compositor: Patrícia Scoralick

Sometimes I think I made the wrong choice
I stumbled into the consequences without knowing
If I'd closed the door or left it open

I thought about going back, starting over
But I couldn't face myself
So I skipped that step
To keep my heart from going soft

I hurt myself, I know
Now it's my turn
To rebuild my world
And I'm changing everything

I carry so much inside
But I never know what to say
In public, I share things
And let them see only who I want to be

I ask myself why I turned on the TV
When I don't even look at it
Just pretend to be someone, busy on my phone
A spectator of lives people never stop inventing

Scrolling the screen without knowing what I'm looking for
A thousand opinions trying to steer me
But in the silence of the early hours, I realize
The answer I seek never really left me to reach you

I built personas to try and protect myself
Masks so perfect I forgot who I wanted to be
Now I pick up the pieces, unafraid to see myself
Because the truth hurts less than continuing to fool myself

I cleaned up my feeds, hit unfollow across the board
Stopped wasting time on a virtual audience
I stopped watching people who didn't even notice me pass by
While I sought the light, they just kept me waiting

And the fresh start came without needing an announcement
No fanfare, no noise, it simply happened in the air
Today I feel like a different person, with nothing to prove
In transcendental evolution, learning to find myself